Fewer than seven hours before I'm scheduled to leave home, yet again, I am awake and writing on blog. The leaving does not get easier, no matter how many times I leave.
Home is here, with my family and with old friends who know me as a person, not just as a strung-out graduate student. In the five days I have been here, I have felt more like myself than I have in the past few months. Everything here is easy. It fits. I fit.
I know that eventually, life will lead me back here, closer to home. For now, the journey is exciting and well worth it. Living away from home, Japan or Chicago, has been incredible. Facing the unknown has been terrifying and necessary. I am closer to becoming the person I want to be in life, and I realize that leaving the safety of home was an essential part of this.
But still it pains me to leave, yet again, the place where I feel most human and full.
Back to the grind first thing tomorrow, when the mundane demands of paper-writing and appointment-keeping suck me back in.
T minus 23 days until I'm home again.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Joe Lieberman
Every time I read articles about Joe Lieberman, I feel like I'm missing something. What precisely is the reason that Democrats are so furious with him?
I'm no fan of Lieberman. His switch to the Independent party after losing the Democratic primary was lame. I disagree with his stance on the Iraq war. And Lieberman's been completely ineffective as chair of Homeland Security.
But these are not the reasons he is hated. As far as I can tell, as I have yet to hear anything to the contrary, Lieberman is hated because he "betrayed" the Democratic party to support a Republican candidate for President.
.....
Yes, Lieberman broke his promise and "attacked" Barack Obama, rather than simply supporting John McCain. But in a Presidential campaign that was bitterly hostile, full of outright lies and dangerous accusations, Lieberman's "attacks" barely registered. (Eloquence does not equal experience? That seems like a fair argument to me.)
For whatever reason, we are holding Lieberman accountable for the entire campaign. John McCain has not been asked to apologize for his incendiary remarks and false statements. Sarah Palin has not been chided for her complete lack of remorse. Furthermore, Sarah Palin has continued her practice of telling blatant lies during interviews, while "journalists" like Matt Lauer blithely sit back and allow her to do so. Sarah Palin fueled the flames of hatred and racism by calling Obama an America-hating terrorist, and we're mad at JOE LIEBERMAN?!?
More importantely, if we are mad at Joe Lieberman for "betraying" the party, I feel it's time to re-examine our priorities. In a true democracy (or republic), politicians should be allowed, encouraged even, to question everything critically... even their own political party. The far too common practice of blindly following one's party is the very reason that Congress is so damn ineffective.
Let's quit whining about "loyalty" and focus on what actually matters. And if we really feel compelled to get rid of Lieberman, at least do it for a real reason!
I'm no fan of Lieberman. His switch to the Independent party after losing the Democratic primary was lame. I disagree with his stance on the Iraq war. And Lieberman's been completely ineffective as chair of Homeland Security.
But these are not the reasons he is hated. As far as I can tell, as I have yet to hear anything to the contrary, Lieberman is hated because he "betrayed" the Democratic party to support a Republican candidate for President.
.....
Yes, Lieberman broke his promise and "attacked" Barack Obama, rather than simply supporting John McCain. But in a Presidential campaign that was bitterly hostile, full of outright lies and dangerous accusations, Lieberman's "attacks" barely registered. (Eloquence does not equal experience? That seems like a fair argument to me.)
For whatever reason, we are holding Lieberman accountable for the entire campaign. John McCain has not been asked to apologize for his incendiary remarks and false statements. Sarah Palin has not been chided for her complete lack of remorse. Furthermore, Sarah Palin has continued her practice of telling blatant lies during interviews, while "journalists" like Matt Lauer blithely sit back and allow her to do so. Sarah Palin fueled the flames of hatred and racism by calling Obama an America-hating terrorist, and we're mad at JOE LIEBERMAN?!?
More importantely, if we are mad at Joe Lieberman for "betraying" the party, I feel it's time to re-examine our priorities. In a true democracy (or republic), politicians should be allowed, encouraged even, to question everything critically... even their own political party. The far too common practice of blindly following one's party is the very reason that Congress is so damn ineffective.
Let's quit whining about "loyalty" and focus on what actually matters. And if we really feel compelled to get rid of Lieberman, at least do it for a real reason!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Good
Things that make me forget, at least for a moment, that I have four presentations this week, an intimidating group therapy session to run Thursday, and a VERY scary looming deadline for my dissertation proposal:
1. First snow of the year, which occurred during my walk home Monday night.
2. Home next week for almost FIVE whole days. Sad that this comes all too infrequently. Amazing that the good feeling will last me at least three months.
3. A deep, unshakable awareness that I am headed toward exactly what I want in life. These kids, this work, this tremendous privilege! I hope I always feel like this.
On another note...
Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State? I'm not sure how I feel about that. Here's the argument in my head:
She was nasty and manipulative during the primary!
Yes, but now is the time to move on, forgive and forget.
Okay, but why foreign policy, the one area she and Obama disagree on the most?
Because Obama wants a Cabinet that will openly challenge him.
But Obama criticized her "foreign policy credentials" during the primary!
I know, that part doesn't make sense to me either.
What about Bill?
He shouldn't be involved... hopefully...
Bill's support of Obama is tepid, at best.
Yes, he should just stay out of it!
And so on. Thoughts?
1. First snow of the year, which occurred during my walk home Monday night.
2. Home next week for almost FIVE whole days. Sad that this comes all too infrequently. Amazing that the good feeling will last me at least three months.
3. A deep, unshakable awareness that I am headed toward exactly what I want in life. These kids, this work, this tremendous privilege! I hope I always feel like this.
On another note...
Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State? I'm not sure how I feel about that. Here's the argument in my head:
She was nasty and manipulative during the primary!
Yes, but now is the time to move on, forgive and forget.
Okay, but why foreign policy, the one area she and Obama disagree on the most?
Because Obama wants a Cabinet that will openly challenge him.
But Obama criticized her "foreign policy credentials" during the primary!
I know, that part doesn't make sense to me either.
What about Bill?
He shouldn't be involved... hopefully...
Bill's support of Obama is tepid, at best.
Yes, he should just stay out of it!
And so on. Thoughts?
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Thoughts on Graduate School
Graduate school is the tiniest bubble you will ever inhabit.
It sucks the humanness out of you. Are you a person will wide-ranging interests? Do you value close friendships? Enjoy having money to purchase food? Love your weekends and evenings? Then graduate school is not for you.
I am being dramatic. It would be a lie to claim that I have sacrificed everything for grad school. I still go out to eat, go to the movies, talk on the phone, laugh with friends, watch TV, and occasionally visit the local bar. I celebrate holidays and birthdays. I sleep in on Saturdays. It's just that the rest of my time is dedicated solely to my future career. It's a race to the finish line. My life is not about right now, it's about preparing for later.
On the plus side, I have learned a secret language of psychological buzzwords, enabling me to communicate to fellow graduate students in code.
Absolutely the only thing keeping me going is the privilege of working with clients. 75% of the time, I inhabit a world of psychobabble and arbitrary deadlines and meaningless busywork. The other 25% of my time, thankfully, is spent with kids who say exactly what they mean and proudly give the middle finger to a society that has mostly abandoned them.
The somewhat ridiculous song and dance of grad school is worth it if I get to do the work I really believe in.
It sucks the humanness out of you. Are you a person will wide-ranging interests? Do you value close friendships? Enjoy having money to purchase food? Love your weekends and evenings? Then graduate school is not for you.
I am being dramatic. It would be a lie to claim that I have sacrificed everything for grad school. I still go out to eat, go to the movies, talk on the phone, laugh with friends, watch TV, and occasionally visit the local bar. I celebrate holidays and birthdays. I sleep in on Saturdays. It's just that the rest of my time is dedicated solely to my future career. It's a race to the finish line. My life is not about right now, it's about preparing for later.
On the plus side, I have learned a secret language of psychological buzzwords, enabling me to communicate to fellow graduate students in code.
Absolutely the only thing keeping me going is the privilege of working with clients. 75% of the time, I inhabit a world of psychobabble and arbitrary deadlines and meaningless busywork. The other 25% of my time, thankfully, is spent with kids who say exactly what they mean and proudly give the middle finger to a society that has mostly abandoned them.
The somewhat ridiculous song and dance of grad school is worth it if I get to do the work I really believe in.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Media Responsibility
Follow the trend, it's the cool thing to do. Hence, blogging.
Some thoughts:
Gay marriage: will be legalized, without doubt, in my lifetime. It's inevitable. I could make a million arguments for why this is a good thing, but it almost doesn't matter. The future is more accepting, not less. Gay marriage is the next logical step following interracial marriage.
Chicago: unique and a nice place to live in. People are nice here. It's no surprise to me that we helped produce Barack Obama. Don't let his eloquence and gentle kindness fool you. He is the product of a brutal local political system, and he's about to amaze you.
Conservative Media: really, really needs to stop the Obama-bashing and rumor-spreading. No, Obama is not an Arab or a Muslim. No, he is not friends with terrorists. No, he is not a socialist. The country is not about to descend into chaos. The United States will not turn into Venezuela (??). Obama will not take all your money and hand it out to the poor. There was no conspiracy; people did not vote for him simply because he is black. He does not support infanticide. Obama will not abolish the military. Barack Obama is not the next Adolf Hitler (I'm talking to you, Congressman Broun). He is not our dictator overlord (Michelle Malkin!).
The hatred and the mistrust frighten me. I think there should be consequences for the media personalities who are ignoring their vast influence and spewing these lies as if they will have no effect. It's grossly irresponsibile and an insult to the great honor of being a reporter.
The other day I watched Bill O'Reilly on the Daily Show. O'Reilly, sounding surprisingly calm and rational, stated that he was scared about what Obama would do as President because he has a limited track record. Basically, O'Reilly felt that Obama has done nothing in the past, so we have no way of predicting what he will do in the future.
Fine! That's okay. I think it's a stretch to call the man who's been swamped by the media for two full years a complete "unknown," but I can accept that argument. In some ways, Obama is less known than McCain or Hillary Clinton, for example.
But that's not what O'Reilly and others are saying on their news programs. They're talking about chaos and dead babies and terrorist attacks and economic meltdown and the general implosion of our entire country. People are listening to what you say. It does matter, and it does have an effect.
Some thoughts:
Gay marriage: will be legalized, without doubt, in my lifetime. It's inevitable. I could make a million arguments for why this is a good thing, but it almost doesn't matter. The future is more accepting, not less. Gay marriage is the next logical step following interracial marriage.
Chicago: unique and a nice place to live in. People are nice here. It's no surprise to me that we helped produce Barack Obama. Don't let his eloquence and gentle kindness fool you. He is the product of a brutal local political system, and he's about to amaze you.
Conservative Media: really, really needs to stop the Obama-bashing and rumor-spreading. No, Obama is not an Arab or a Muslim. No, he is not friends with terrorists. No, he is not a socialist. The country is not about to descend into chaos. The United States will not turn into Venezuela (??). Obama will not take all your money and hand it out to the poor. There was no conspiracy; people did not vote for him simply because he is black. He does not support infanticide. Obama will not abolish the military. Barack Obama is not the next Adolf Hitler (I'm talking to you, Congressman Broun). He is not our dictator overlord (Michelle Malkin!).
The hatred and the mistrust frighten me. I think there should be consequences for the media personalities who are ignoring their vast influence and spewing these lies as if they will have no effect. It's grossly irresponsibile and an insult to the great honor of being a reporter.
The other day I watched Bill O'Reilly on the Daily Show. O'Reilly, sounding surprisingly calm and rational, stated that he was scared about what Obama would do as President because he has a limited track record. Basically, O'Reilly felt that Obama has done nothing in the past, so we have no way of predicting what he will do in the future.
Fine! That's okay. I think it's a stretch to call the man who's been swamped by the media for two full years a complete "unknown," but I can accept that argument. In some ways, Obama is less known than McCain or Hillary Clinton, for example.
But that's not what O'Reilly and others are saying on their news programs. They're talking about chaos and dead babies and terrorist attacks and economic meltdown and the general implosion of our entire country. People are listening to what you say. It does matter, and it does have an effect.
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